After my How To Become Great article got a lot of interest I decided to explore the concept of success some more. Consider the following:
- Most of us are born with similar financial resources (most of a countrie’s population falls into the poor or lower-middle class)
- Most of us are born with a similar amount of time (70 years is the average life-span the last I checked)
- Most of us have access to all the information and learning resources we’ll ever need. This was first started by public libraries where anyone could read a book and learn basically anything. And more recently has exploded through the internet where you can do a quick search and in seconds find the info you are looking for
So why do a few of us become great while most are just average? There are many factors which I highlight in several of my posts:
However the biggest most common roadblock to success is FEAR. Yes the big “F” word Fear is such a roadblock to success on so many levels that an article such as this one couldn’t possibly cover it all.
Our fears are often a freak show. We hide them, we work around them and we never really wanna face them. Yet they are often what holds us back in life. And no I’m not talking about your fear of snakes or spiders. Although that does remind me of a funny prank I played on a friend once with a leather snake
I’m talking about fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of social settings, fear of success, fear of fame, fear of attention, and so on. I’m sure you can at least relate to a couple of those fears and would agree that they have sabotaged your life in many ways.
For example, fear of rejection can really sabotage your dating life, whether you are a man or a woman. If you are a man and you are scared of rejection you will never really ask out any women you find attractive. If you are a woman and you are scared from a man rejecting you, you will never really be able to trust men in the first place.
So how do you go from lame or average to fame or greatness, well you need to conquer your fears, and here are 5 steps that will help you tremendously:
- Be FearlessDo it, don’t just think it. Instead of saying “I’m not scared” or “I wanna get over my fear of…” just do it. You might need to take small steps at first but you need to do it. One thing I always wanted to do was skydive. When the opportunity came up I decided to just do it. Now of course this might sound a bit extreme, however it was a blast. In most cases though I notice I have taken gradual steps to get over my fear.A big fear for me was fear of rejection especially around strangers in social settings. And it still is to a lesser degree. To get over that I started by first learning everything about social skills I could find. I then went out and would make eye contact with strangers on the street. Then I would try smiling. Then I actually started saying “hi how are you” to strangers. Now I’m at the point where I can comfortably walk up to any stranger and probably have a fun 10-15 minute conversation.The key is getting out of your comfort zone and taking gradual scary steps. You have to be fearless not to try. You have to fake it until you make it. Start doing scary things and your body will gradually find them less scary.
- Don’t Care Most of the things we care about or worry about are very insignificant. Most of our worries never become reality anyways. Think about it when was the last time you actually worried about something and had it really happen? I would guess 1 out of your last 100 worries turned into reality.Often we care too much about pleasing others. We care too much about how we come across. We care too much about our pride and ego. We try to follow our parents guidance and advice, and we really do care about being good sons and daughters. Well I say forget that.I’m not saying become a jerk, I’m just saying that if you are always putting others and their needs before yours you are not being authentic. You aren’t being real. You are trying to live a pretend life and project a pretend lifestyle.Start being real. If that means that you will offend some people so be it. If that means that some of your current friends might dump you for it, then oh well you’ll make new ones. If that actually happens it means that they are probably losers in the first place and aren’t good success models to start with.
When you actually start being real and more authentic something amazing happens. You notice that your relationships with others become a lot stronger. Even people who don’t agree with you will start trusting you more, and be open around you. Why? Because they know the real you, they know you got boundaries, and people actually respect that.
- Burn the Boats It’s a known fact that many successful tribes and warriors burned their boats right after they landed on their enemies grounds. They burned their ships and basically made it impossible to flee the war that they are about to engage in other than victoriously. They either fought and all died, or they were victorious and took over the land and everything in it.If you are trying to become successful in any area of your life you need to burn the boats. You need to make it so that failure isn’t an option. I know that sounds nice and all but I bet you are asking, “how the hack do I do that?” Here is a practical example.Changing career paths. You decide you want to change your career path. So how do you burn the boats or cut off any hope of staying in your current job? You first tell all of your friends and relatives about your decision. Because now if you wont follow through they’ll probably hassle you about it. You get some guidance on how to start in your new career of choice. If you already have some money saved up that you can live off for a few months, you might even consider quitting your job tomorrow. Because once you quit there is no going back. You start getting a resume ready and even maybe start applying to jobs in your new career path.
- Nothing To Lose Everything To GainRemind yourself “I got nothing to lose and everything to gain”. How come? Think about it. You created your current lifestyle, everything you have, all your accomplishment, financial wealth, relationships, connections and so on. If all of those were to be taken away from you, using the same logic, you can get them all back in time. So no matter what kind of risks you take you really have nothing to lose and everything to gain. You can always come back to your little comfort zone. However by stepping up, and taking risks you really do have everything to gain. The world is yours for the taking.
- Shatter Glass WallThe glass wall is the sum of all of our limiting beliefs and insecurities that hold us back in life. When I was too shy to talk to strangers I had a very thick glass wall. I thought strangers wouldn’t be nice to me. I though they didn’t want to talk to me. I thought they didn’t want anything I had to offer. I thought I would annoy them. And so on.I had to shatter that glass wall which was mostly based on my own insecurities. To shatter it I had to start acting in spite of my insecurities. I had to feel the fear and do it anyways.You first step to shattering your glass wall is becoming more aware of it. You have to start seeing it for what it is, a bunch of insecurities and limiting beliefs. It’s called a glass wall because it’s often invisible. Often we assume that we are right, things are they way we’ve always been taught and we never question our beliefs and insecurities.